You know how people are always starting organizations to help the poor? Every group these days wants to feed the poor, clothe the poor, shelter the poor. Well, what about the ever-shrinking middle class? I've decided today that there is just too little going on to protect this endangered group of people. Everyone knows the poor are covered already and the rich are just assholes who don't need help. So now it's time to help the middle class. For example, I think someone needs to start a free towing service for the middle class for when their cars break down. No, I'm not talking about AAA. I mean completely free, out of the goodness of the tow truck driver's heart. I mean, who is there to help out when unexpected crisises like these arise? Nobody. The poor don't have cars to break down, and the rich can deal with the problem with the swipe of a credit card, but the middle class with their economy cars get screwed. Another service that should be offered is free groceries from Trader Joe's. Isn't that where the entire middle class shops for food these days? There could be a little donation barrel in the corner of Whole Foods (where the rich shop) reading: Help out for the Holidays! Sponsor a Middle Class family with food from Trader Joe's. All Donations Appreciated! And the rich could feel good about themselves for stooping down to the level of being seen in Trader Joe's and purchasing some dried apple ringsor Joe's O's for the poor, poor...middle...class. Seriously. I mean, if we don't start helping out the middle class, they'll all become poor. And then we'll really have some serious shit on our hands. So somebody! Rich! Start your charity now!