For those of you who don't know, I have suffered from extreme tiredness lately. I have never had this problem before. In fact, I have always had trouble falling asleep. I thought to myself: why am I tired? I am sleeping at least 5 hours a night. And then I remembered: you're supposed to get 8 hours of sleep a night. Also, you're supposed to stay home from work when you're sick. And get an oil change before your engine explodes. And stick to your budget. And live within your means. You're supposed to stay in bed until your injuries heal. Talk about your problems without worry of being judged. Floss your teeth. Now when, I ask you, does what we're supposed to do match reality? And if it did, wouldn't everyone just take a gun to their heads and kill themselves? Especially if we all flossed our teeth every night. Then how would we ever be able to delight in the fact that we could wake up and have dessert for breakfast just by sticking our tongues between our teeth? Okay, maybe I'm alone in that one, but still. If I EVER stuck to my budget, I think I'd kill myself. Because then I would never have bought a $400 chamemelon while I am $400 in debt to the parking bureau. Yeah, I live in fear nightly that I will wake up with a heavy boot on my car, but I get to see my chameleon's cute face every morning, and see him catch crickets with his sticky tongue and chew their bodies to mush. So see, I could either: a) pay my debt or b) have a multicolored carnivorous solitary companion from Madagascar. Well.

Anyways. ANYWAYS. I think I know why I may be so tired. It goes a little something like this (every afternoon after 12:10 pm):

I pick up my students from lunch on the playground. Student O hits and slaps every student she can reach, and then gets out of line. She spins arund in circles in the hallway, and if anyone accidentally touches her, she yells : I'm gonna get you! Which she does. Get them. She walks up the stairs 3 steps at a time just to piss me off. In the class she falls on the floor and decides she will pull on someone's shoe. She rips up a student's dollar bill. Students A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z are at least three inches shorter than Student O and two years younger and shiver in fear as she hits them all. Students A and E (and sometimes C and R) spit pieces of paper at eachother and then deny it. I look at the floor covered in a mass of paper bits and yell (after multiple attempts at deep breathing): Look at the floor! Look what you've done! IT IS DISGUSTING! DISGUSTING!!!!!! Students look at me, scared that I might kill them, if Student O doesn't do so first. Student O laughs maniacally. I start off: Today we are going to be learning... I take a breath. I am tired. Yet, no child must be left behind. Unless they have already been left behind and are currently scoring an average of 30% on math assessments. In which case, they must not be left behind further behind. I am tired.

On that note, goodnight.