Did you know that the 99 Cents Store has a deli? And a gourmet food section? I can only imagine what types of food are sold in these locales. The sign for the gourmet foods section flashes like the neon lights on a brothel of a two-bit whore. Classy. As I passed by and looked through the window, I think I could glimpse a tub of Land O' Lakes spreadable butter in the gourmet food section . With an expiration date that rivals that commerical astronaut food they sell at museums. Apparently it never expires, but it's probably been disgusting since a decade ago. One time in Vegas I went to this cheap ass supermarket outside of the strip, where the real people live. I bought Juicy Fruit gum and an orange. They were super cheap, so I asked the person at the check out stand why, but she just shook her mullet and said, "It's good enough for ME! I don't ASK!" When I got outside I bit into a piece of gum but I couldn't even break off a piece because it was so rock hard. And the orange was WHITE inside. I mean like a real fucking albino orange. Isn't the selling of such merchandise illegal somehow? They're trying to ban the sale of fast food with trans fats in them, but they don't care about albino oranges? I think I should run for president and change this. My campaign will run on the slogan: The darker the orange, the sweeter the juice. Stop the injustice now. Out with deformed fruits in 2006. And I'll post up signs in the 99 Cents Store. Cuz that shit's fucking gourmet.