Oh customer service oriented jobs, how I love thee. So right now I have two waitressing/food-oriented jobs. And the customers, what beautiful people they all are. One 85 year old regular customer of mine was nonchalantly slurping on his broiled chicken dinner/flirting with me/telling me about love poems he writes where "love conquers all" when suddenly he breaks into a talk about politics. He asks me if I caught Obama fever. Due to my general disillusionment with life and mild yet constant depression I don't usually get overly excited about anything, so I tell him that I didn't catch a fever per se but I did want him to win the election. He then nonchalantly tells me, still slurping his chicken dinner, that if Obama is the antichrist we would never know it because no phlegbotomist could draw his blood because Obama would know ahead of time and kill said phlegbotomist so nobody wants to even think about drawing his blood to check if he's the antichrist lest they get killed by Obama. Hmm, I say, nodding, how is everything tasting today? Fine, he responds. I go to check on my other tables, one of which is a blind woman who is getting pretty drunk off Cabernet Sauvignon. I read her the menu but I leave off some parts because it would take forever to read the whole thing. However the blind woman uses her sixth sense to uncover the fact that I am leaving out bits of the menu. She asks me: What, no salads? Yes, there are salads, I reply. I never thought she would want a salad of all things with her red wine and now I just feel like a bitch for not telling the blind woman about the fresh and healthy options available to her. Tell me about the salads, she says, getting drunker. I tell her the salads minus one or two that I forget. What, no Cobb salad?, she asks. Yes, there is a Cobb salad, I forgot about that one. She orders the hot beef dinner and another glass of wine. At the end of the night I have to walk her to the bus stop. I'm not sure if I left her at the right one but I'm pretty sure she found her way cuz the next night she wasn't there anymore. Another customer walks in and sits at the counter. He tells me the new owner is stupid and that we are going to close in one month tops. He's stupid, STUPID, he insists. Who upholsters chairs TWO times? What a WASTE, he shouts. Then he takes out a twenty dollar bill and puts it on the table. Just checking if I have enough, he tells me. He orders, eats his food quickly and voraciously. Pays with the twenty, then counts out fifty pennies in front of me for my tip. The other waitress tells me he has never tipped before so I guess I should be flattered. Then he goes to the bathroom. When he gets out, he sits in another location, as if he never ate his first meal. He orders dessert in his new location, pays with another twenty. This time he tips me a dollar. Finally he leaves but comes back a third time to tell me we are going to close in a month, the owner is stupid, and when do we close on weekdays? I see the 85 year old giving me flirt eyes from across the way. I think I am getting a fever, I think, as I refill his coffee cup and watch the antichrist on TV.